Just Another One of Those Days

Some Poems I Wrote At Starbucks

Caffeine High

We live in a Starbucks world
where kids can nurse
their ever-growing
caffeine addiction
with a iced triple grande
five pump soy
with extra whip
Mocha beverage
making their short lives
even shorter
by speeding through the day
on a caffeine high.


One More Cup

Just one more cup
then back to work I'll go
but no sooner.
I'll wait until the last drop
of that hot coffee with just the right amount
of sugar and cream
rolls down to the back of my tongue
and down my throat to join
the rest of the coffee of the day
and only then will I make my way
back to the office
to dream of tomorrow's
special brew.


Trash Day

Every day is trash day
when millions of Americans
toss aside
their day's waste
in overflowing metal cans
outside the shops
and food chains.
Empty cups and half-eaten bagels
line the sidewalks
because there never
seems to be
enough time
to walk an extra four feet
and drop off
their extra waste
into the proper receptacle.


MY Table

This is MY table.
I laid down my
notebook before
I went to order my drink
so I have the right
to prop my leg up
on the adjacent chair
as I relax
and unwind
with a cigarette
before I have to haul
myself back to
cleaning tables
and washing dishes
all night long.

Lost Planet of the Gods

Yesterday I was scanning my newly received bookshelf for something to read. I was in a science-fictiony mood and was being reminded of simpler times. There was really nothing there that interested me. It made me wish I had searched Half-Priced Books for more than just that MASH book. Bewildered by my lack of accomplishment during the search I turned to the one thing that may hold the solution to my dilemma; the television. So there I am, flipping through the few channels my broken antennae can pick up and amongst the haze what do my tired eyes recognize but two Viper starfighters flying across my screen. Oh what joy I did receive when the Battlestar Galactica stood before me. Appolo and Starbuck got lost while exploring a mysterious void that stood before the Galactica while the Viper crews fell ill to a mysterious bacteria. Shuttle pilots made up of mostly women were then sent into battle against the attacking Cylons as they cleared the way for a science vessel to land on an asteroid and find a cure for the mysterious ailment afflicting the Viper pilots. It was a two parter so I may check out the ending next Saturday. My thirst was quenched once more, but that wasn't the end. After Battlestar Galactica Star Trek was on. I didn't sit through the whole episode though it was playing behind me as I was thwarting the ever-growing zombie threat on-line. I still wish I had a book to read because my science fiction innards are rumbling once again and this time my TV isn't coming to my rescue. I'm settling by listening to some astro-rock. So until next time travelers,

"Fleeing from the Cylon tyranny, the last battlestar, Galactica, leads a rag-tag fugitive fleet on a lonely quest for a shining planet known as Earth."

Oh how I love Half-Priced Books

This is what I found tonight at a Half-Priced Books.

Its beautiful. It really is.
Now I have some reading to do.

Patience and Waiting

Patience and waiting. I understand those two but what is it called when while waiting nothing is really being done. Is it laziness or something on the verge of a feeling of hopelessness? Because thats where I am now and thats the conclusion I've come up with. In my Now What? blogs I was vaguely describing my life and whats been going through my head in the previous months. Now I'm here to write about the present and presently I don't know whats been going on. I've been writing these entries to inspire me to get up and do something but for me inspiration only seems to be temporary. I don't seem to be as focused as I was last week so thats why I continue to write. To keep my mind on track and force the habit of focusing back into me. I've been reading alot recently but sometimes I would lose the desire for study and be distracted by other books, TV shows, movies, and music. There's nothing wrong with a little break now and again but for me I get consumed. I'll get so into one thing and my thoughts will be totally redirected to it instead of where I feel I need to be. This is one of those ruts I mentioned in an earlier post. I have my life so full of stuff but when you put all that stuff together it equal nothing compared to what I need. I've been filling my life with nothingness to distract me and occupy my mind. So I am writing again trying to keep my mind on track.

Now What? part 2, part 2

I read this in a book and I think it can be applied to everybody in all walks of life. It somewhat sums up mt last rant of a blog and really sounds a whole lot better than anything I've ever written.

"We both believe strongly that what we say about Jesus and the Christian life belongs, not in a private world, inaccessible and incomprehensible except "from faith to faith," but in a public world of historical and cross-cultural study, in the contemporary world as well as in the church."
-Marcus J. Borg & N.T. Wright from their book The Meaning of Jesus: Two Visions

---

So the balls now in my court (as they say) but that's not where I like to keep it. It means that I now have to enact change instead of waiting for some invisible force to miraculously make things the way I want them. This is the part where I have to start challenging myself. I'll be 23 in September; I live at home, no job, and no car. What have I got to show for my life? Around here is when I start to feel depressed and my mind begins to wander and hope for that invisible force to come in and make things better. Unfortunately, that is not going to happen. I don't know what it is, its not that I lack motivation but it may be because I get let down easily. I can have 2 job interviews in a week and they go great but when I don't get contacted I seem to get set back. On a completely different note inspired from my roaming mind, there are times when friends ask me about girls and relationships pertaining to my life and the thoughts that go through my head are as follows. I've got character and I've some decent looks (or so I'm told) but again, the situation my life is in right now just doesn't warrant a relationship of that sort. It's not bad, it's just stagnant. I can't seem to get a job and that's just number one on the list. My life's not prepared for that right now, no matter how much I may want it at times. And I'm at that point in writing where I seem to have lost my place and wonder where I was going with this. The only thing I can do is push through. (If anyone has any ideas or suggestions please feel free to share them with me.) What else is there for me to do?
So God's apparently got this preconceived plan for my life but for some reason he doesn't enjoy sharing ideas as much as I do. At least right now he won't. There are times when I ask and many of those times I'm at peace because I know where I'm supposed to be. But it's the other times, those times when I've missed something or taken a wrong turn somewhere along the way but I don't know why or where. All I can seem to do is lay in bed at night and ask "Now What?" Where am I supposed to be going? What do I have to do to get directions? I've tried asking. And I almost always lose patience. (Don't you just love being able to answer your own questions without even knowing what you're doing?) Most of the time waiting means being patient and calming down and I think this writing helps me with that. I get time to focus my thoughts and reflect on what's been going on inside my head. But sometimes it still seems like I've been doing nothing. This time there is no complex conclusion. Sometimes in life you just have to wait.

And Now For Something Completely Different ... or not

Alot of the things I have been writing recently (Now What? and some stuff I haven't posted yet) I've been writing primarily for myself. I didn't write anything for any particular audience and nothing has been written for the purpose of being read. There are, however, reasons why I am posting these things I write. One of which is so that I can organize my thoughts and so that I'll have everything out in the open so people who have access to and knowledge of this site have no excuse to not know what I write. Also, if I go back on my word or say two completely opposite things in life someone can call me out on it so I can either fess up or explain my actions and thought processes. And if that situation arises I strongly urge you to do so. I often notice that some people ignore people's mistakes or actions that they don't agree with or feel comfortable around and instead of having a mature conversation between the two of them, they would rather form an opinion and spread that opinion without full knowledge of the situation. I know that confronting everyone this way is a bit extreme but thats not the way I mean it, more of a balance of disagreement and conversation and an ability to hold your tongue when needed. I see alot of whispering in the church setting which is one reason I took a step back was so I didn't 1) fall into it or 2) blow up at everyone. That is another reason I am posting my thoughts on-line. If any of what I've been writing recently deserves an audience I would rather it be the Christians because I believe some of what I have to say needs to be heard by some of them. I'm not saying that it is strictly faith-based writing, its just writings from my life and observation that I have made. If anyone who does not share in a similar belief system of mine wishes to read what I have to say, go ahead. I would greatly value your opinion on the subject also. If anyone has anything to say (agree or disagree) with anything I put here on this site, I encourage you to tell me either publicly or privately (depending on your preference) because that is the only way I'm going to know how you feel. You making an opinion based only on what I have to write here isn't probably the best plan of action. Talk to me, I want to hear your views. I'm going to stop writing now because this took an odd direction that I didn't originally plan but I still wrote stuff I wanted to write. So feedback on anything is greatly appreciated ...

... There are times when I can't always find the words for what I want to say so if anything seems unclear to you feel free to e-mail me and I'll try to elaborate and make more sense. That is all ... I promise.

Now What?, part2

I don’t know if I mentioned this in my previous entry but I wrote all these Now What? pieces laying in bed at around one in the morning without my glasses on so if anything for any reason doesn’t seem to make any sense just ask and I’ll try to explain it because it all makes sense to me, the sleep deprived blind old fool writing in the dark.

My first year attending a church youth camp I was helping out as an adult leader at the church. It was that summer that God told me that I was made to be a leader. This brought tears to my eyes. One thing was that I was an easy going, shy guy, and borderline anti-social. the other was that I had no clue what I was supposed to do. Me? A Leader? How was that supposed to work? Two things overwhelmed me, fear and complete reliance on another figure, a deity of all things. I was never really comfortable with surrendering myself and giving God complete obedience. It is still something I have trouble with to this day. This probably has a large affect on where my life is right now. God told me I was going to be a leader so a leader I was going to be. Suddenly young people at the church would confide in me their problems. My advice wasn’t always that great but it slowly got better. The some friends and myself get this band going and again I was thrust into this position of leadership. The two roles were completely different. At the church young people would ask me for advice and I was in a position of servitude while in the band most leadership was spread out and organization was key. These experiences helped me grow into the person that I am. I began talking more on pressing matters, letting my opinion be heard, and seeking counsel among my friends. During all this God taught me about leadership and what it takes to be a leader and specifically what I was doing wrong in that role. I still wasn’t accustomed to being a leader. I always enjoyed the backseat, behind the scenes look at life and helped make things work that way. This whole being on the front lines and talking to people I didn’t know was all new to me. Now with me not working for the youth at the church and the band now disbanded I don’t know where I’m headed. So I sit here before God asking the same questions over and over again. "Now what?" And I start thinking and writing in circles. I have so many small thoughts and major opinions but I’ve always had trouble applying myself and getting those ideas out there and letting my voice be heard when it really counts. So I now live by something I read somewhere and applied it to my prayers: You made me who you want me to be and I’m standing in the way. Point me in the right direction so I can fulfill your dreams.

Now What?, part 1

I don't know who this is for, mainly myself I guess. The audience I have in mind are mostly those of you who don't know me too well but do know me well enough to hold a conversation with me. People I may see from week to week but don't really know me. This is just answers to questions I don't here ... (okay, now I'm just rambling).
Now What?

I've never known what to write about. I don't even know my reason for writing. I've read so many amazing books and articles where authors tell the tales that make up their lives while imparting knowledge and wisdom along the way. Stories of rebellion and adventure, loneliness and hatred, beauty and joy. I never had stories like that, at least none that I considered worthy of sharing. My experiences are few but my conversation with God number in the many only I'm always saying the same things and asking the same questions. I am yours. Where do you want me? Now what? Tonight I find myself saying those same things but this time I'm taking notes and writing down what I think. I don't have the answers or claiming to know the truth. I only have myself, God, and these words I'm writing down. I don't even know where these words are going to take me. Adventure? Joy? Hope? Despair? I won't know until I get there and I won't arrive at the end until I find someplace to start. I guess now is as good as a time as any.
A few months back I stopped attending the church I've been at for years. I didn't leave for good, just a break to step back and examine my life as well as some of the things I saw going on that I didn't like. It was nothing inner church based (though there are some things I disagree with) just some characters I didn't really see eye to eye with and I wanted to remove myself from that sort of atmosphere before it started influencing me and the decisions I make. I'm not the type of person who leaves someplace because they don't like whats going on. I've always told people that running away from problems only solves them temporarily for yourself. To solve problems you need to get involved and invoke change yourself. I don't recall all the reasons I left, my motives were hardly what I would call noble and selfless. Little did I know that that there were reasons beyond my knowledge that I had cast myself out on my own. I didn't know it at the time but getting away from the church scene would help me get closer to God.

'God' Has Such a Different Meaning Where a Purer Image Resides

Its one thing to rejoice in your persecutions
but another to be looked down upon by your fellow man.

I wrote these in bed after laying sleepless for several hours so if they don't make any sense its not your fault, its mine:

To Someone Who Doesn't Know Its Them That I'm Writing About
or
To Paint The Story Of My Dreams

Inside me there is vast, open space
where thoughts
gleefully gallop
through fields
of memories and emotions
kicking up grass
and starting fires
that flare up the sky.
'God' has such a different meaning
where a purer image resides.


A Comparison

The present
is kind of like those biblical days
they talk about in Sunday schools
and prophetic television programs
early in the morning;
There is common knowledge of God
but
his followers are few
and
more attention is directed
at the religious hypocrites
than his followers
just like in the old bible stories
that are told in Sunday schools
across America
and on prophetic television programs
on early in the morning.
I wonder
if
anyone else
has
made this comparison.

3 things this morning but I'm only posting 2

The Slow and Somber Tale of Hope

It sounds nice when it is written down
and it probably could hold a nice tale
but The Slow and Somber Tales of Hope
won't have a meaningful place in my personal library.
No song,
nor story,
or even a poem
shall ever bear its name
in a context
having to do with theme.
And yet
as I write this
I almost wish it would,
Goodnight.

Everything's Going To be Okay

My alarm goes off at 9:30 every day.
I wake up at 9:30 every day.
Except today.
I had one of those dreams
where I was in a familiar place
but everything seemed new to me.
There were people there
who weren't really who they were
and saying things
that they wouldn't have said.
I don't know where I was going with this
but there was this girl
crying on my shoulder
but I couldn't quite remember
what made her cry
just that it seemed undeserved
and all I could do was hold her.
Comfort her.
Then take her for a walk outside
and tell her
everythings going to be okay.
"Everything's going to be okay."

Something I Wrote A While Back On The Beach

Speak Your Mind

If you don't
its just going to waste away
into nothing.

I Woke Up (literally, not in a figurative spiritual or emotional way)

1
I had another dream last night.
You had tears in your eyes
but all I had were excuses.
I don't know what to make of it-
I think I'm always right?
And don't know when I've hurt you?
I can't make sense of where this belongs in my life
but I'll do my best to try.

2
You are God
being ignored
and falling to pieces.
I let you rest your head on my shoulder
then I close my eyes
and let my dreams take me far away from here.
Who am I?

Guess What I've Been Reading

"Let me tell you the most beautiful story I know.
A man was given a dog, which he loved very much.
The dog went with him everywhere,
but the man could not teach it to do anything useful.
The dog would not fetch or point,
it would not race or protect or stand watch.
Instead the dog sat near him and regarded him,
always with the same inscrutable expression.
'That's not a dog, it's a wolf,' said the man's wife.
'He alone is faithful to me,' said the man,
and his wife never discussed it with him again.
One day the man took his dog with him into his private airplane
and as they flew over high winter mountains,
the engines failed
and the airplane was torn to shreds among the trees.
The man lay bleeding,
his belly torn open by blades of sheared metal,
steam rising from his organs in the cold air,
but all he could think of was his faithful dog.
Was he alive? Was he hurt?
Imagine his relief when the dog came padding up
and regarded him with that same steady gaze.
After an hour the dog nosed the man's gaping abdomen,
then began pulling out intestines and spleen and liver
and gnawing on them,
all the while studying the man's face.
'Thank God,' said the man.
'At least one of us will not starve.' "

from The God Whispers of Han Qing-jao

Where's The Reality?

So I was just playing Guitar Hero ... I know, I know, you can see where I'm going with this but I'm not going to talk about how the guitar riffs are simplistic compared to actual guitar playing or that they make being a rock star look easy and avoid all the real work. I just played in Austin (in the game) at the Warped Tour playing The Allman Brothers. You may be thinking, "Hey, they're a good band". And yes, they are AMAZING!! But Warped Tour? What would they be doing there. Though if they ever did play Warped Tour THAT would make me want to go. I almost convinced myself that it was worth going this year with the introduction of better heavier acts like Killswitch Engage, As I Lay Dying, Maylene and I wouldn't mind seeing As Cities Burn again ...
I'll end on that note because none of this has anything to do with anything.

I Am A Complete Hack or On Writing and Poetry

I'd like to
but
I think
I'll get this
little bit of piss
out of me
then leave.

Almost A Memory

Please look into these sad, dark eyes and say there is no more-
no more pain
or sorrow;
long lost hate coming back to haunt me in my last days.
Please look into these tired, old eyes where wisdom would once abide
and say "I love you"
one last time.

Justin's Big Day

The sunlight is gone
and the ground is all wet
as the sand is pushed back and forth,
back and forth
by the waves.
I enjoy my friends and friendships,
loved ones
and lost ones,
my quiet time
where I can be alone and just think . . .
The waves are coming closer
and life is catching up to me
(though I'm only almost twenty-three)
and sometimes I feel my life's been wasted
but I know its these times,
my quiet times
and when I'm among friends
that I know why life's worth living.



The last time I saw you was long ago
and now that I'm here I've come to know
that when I needed you
(and when I thought I didn't)
You were there all along
and I was not alone.

Bleak Poetry Sells ... Or So It Seems

Sitting On The Toilet
So here I am
sitting on the toilet again
wondering where my life's been
all this time
not realizing how much I've done
what I've said
or who I've hurt along the way,
Wondering how high atop a pedastool
I've placed my desires
and how far I've walked
to where my dreams
are just a speck in the distance
with absolutely no goal to achieve them
and no will to either.
So here I am
sitting on the toilet again
wondering where my life's gone
oblivious that its been
sitting right under me
all this time.

Bleak Poetry Sells ... Or So It Seems
I read alot of depressing poetry.
I write alot of bleak poetry.
But my outlook on life
is slightly higher
than I put on paper.
Bleak poetry sells ...
or so it seems.
Some may say
a poet's life must be sad
and depressing
to fuel a passion for writing.
so people can have someone to relate to
or maybe they want someone to look down on
so their life seems brighter.
But what good am I
if I don't offer inspiration?
I may write a dark poem here or there
but my outlook on life
is slightly higher
than I put on paper.

It Was A Long Night A Few Weeks Back

Like Being in the Rain II: Déjà Vu All Over Again

What happened to the days
when we would play in the rain
day in and day out
Now we just act like everything’s the same
“day in and day out”
Life’s a series of “who’s who”
and moments of déjà vu.
Past mistakes
(or loves)
And lost memories.

I long to be with You again
But I’m at a point
where I’m
feeling so disconnected.
From You.
From Life.
From everything.
I say I don’t want to live in complacency
“day in and day out”
“day in and day out”
“DAY IN AND DAY OUT …”

Life’s just a bunch of “who’s who”
And lots of déjà vu …


Distraction

Take me away from this place where I stand.
I don’t whether its here or there
But wherever I am
I don’t want to be there any longer.
I just get so distracted.
When I’m talking,
crying, or praying
that You’ll take me back.
I think of the story of the prodigal son
And how it was played out in Godspell
With that actor that as in that show I saw
on TV
last night.
It was that one episode where …
WAIT! WAIT!
I did it again!
Fallen in where I’ve always been.
so distracted
and disconnected.
I wonder if You’ll take me back
even when I know the answer.


I Once Got a Blowjob Behind a Coffee Shop

“I Once Got a Blowjob
Behind a Coffee Shop”
Would be a great title
For a selection of poems
About sexual escapades
and all around promiscuity.
But that’s not who I am
and it isn’t where I’ve been.
Its just the title
of a poem
about absolutely nothing.

I'm Posting This Backwards (Part 2-Cause) or "Don't Worry, I'm Taking It Back"

Before I go into the next topic I would like to add on a bit to my last blog due to a comment that was posted. This is for those of you who may have read the blog before Brad (yea right).
Here's what he said:
". . . You seem frustrated with the whole "Christian band" thing. I can relate. I think that far too often Christians share a bit too much of their personal convictions as THE Standard everyone else should live by, and yet still preach conditional "uncondiitional acceptance." Christians in bands get the brunt of this for some reason. You would think that more popular celebrities (I have a few movie stars and directors in mind) would get the most flack, but they're somehow given the most slack. But then, why should anyone have to be given "slack" in the first place? What happened to compassion for what that person might be going through? Knowing that you don't know a person's heart and intent by their actions? Not judging someone (mainly because you probably have plenty of things to judge yourself on, and besides, your not the judge!)? Unconditional love (which I believe is impossible for us in our egoism, but they still preach it!)? The list goes on and on. Churchianity has become a gang culture where everyone is right, holier-than-thou, and close-minded to anything that "God didn't tell them." I thank God that there are sincere and loving Christians out there, the ones that take time to seek out the character of God that Jesus talked about. Sadly, that seems to be the exception in church circles."
Now my response:
"Its not exactly the "Christian band" label that I'm tired of but the judgment that seems to come with it. If someone wants to call their band a Christian band then I'm all for it; as long as they know their place in what they do and where there hearts lay I'm cool with it. What I'm sick of hearing is what people think a Christian band should be and criticizing a band for their decisions whether in their music, on stage, or in their personal lives. Yes this all comes down to the "holier-than-thou" mentality alot of kids pick up at church and carry with them throughout their lives. What I'm slowly getting at (and what the topic of my next blog will deal with) is communication; something alot of people don't understand the concept of. Some people (including myself) judge others with little or nothing to base their opinions on because of searching and expanding the information they have they just inflate the little info they have gained in passing to make their arguments."

--And now we return to our original programming already in progress--

A while back I was in an on-line discussion forum and some kid was talking about religion and how there are so many negative things associated with the term "Christian"(as a noun) so from now on he was calling himself "a follower of Christ". But in the way he wrote he sounded just like all those people he was trying to separate himself from by changing what he called himself. It didn't make sense. If you followed this pattern into the future eventually people would hate the label "follower of Christ" and want to call them something else. My point in all this is What does it matter the label if whats inside is true? This is a really bad reference for this subject but in the movie Clerks II Randall started a campaign to turn the phrase "Porch Monkey" from a derogatory, racist term into just a regular derogatory phrase that could openly used in jest of one another. "Don't worry, I'm taking it back" is what he said. Well thats me right now. I'm a Christian. "Don't worry, I'm taking it back."

I'm not going into anything I wanted to talk about. I just don't feel like it right now. So I'll just dive right in. If someone were to come up to me and ask about my writing (band-wise) and ask what a certain song was about I most likely wouldn't tell them unless I really felt the need to. For example if they wanted to know the meaning behind As American As Apple Pie And Napalm I would tell them its about war or Prophecy I may give them the verse in Ezekiel. Because You Dance So Beautifully is a love song, 'nuff said. One thing I don't want is for our[The Burning Is Here] songs to be restrictive. I want everyone to get the most out of them. If someone want to know what a particular song is about I'll point them to the lyrics and ask what THEY think its about and if that works for them then it works for me (unless it i so totally off that it has a negative affect on someone, then I'll tell them.) I do the same with the band members though I may go into more detail as to why i wrote the song because they're my closest friends. But with songs like The Wait Is Over; I wrote that song after I was having trouble screaming when we first started the band. The literal reason that song was written was because I was having trouble projecting my voice. How many people do you think can directly relate to that and have a positive impact on their lives? But if they see the lyrics that say "How many must wait? Why's it so hard to share our faith? ... its[my heart] burning, my heart is surely turning/ I'll take it out and wipe it clean just to give it back to you ... I'm speechless, I'm voiceless, when will this end?" then they can relate that to their own lives. That may not have been the best song to use as an example (its definitely not the highlight of my writing ability). But its the easiest one to explain without divulging information thats more private. None of this at all seems to be related to what I originally wanted to write about but at the last minute I decided that this would be more appropriate than the other. As to where we[The Burning Is Here] stand in relation to the "Christian band" point of discussion I'm going to explain it once more as I have explained and discussed with several others based on questions I have been asked and some I ask myself to clarify my thought.
Do I Consider The Burning Is Here a Christian band? Yes but it depends on who's asking me. If a Christian comes up to me and asks I will say yes. If someone else does I may say otherwise BUT I won't leave out my faith and the faith of the rest of the band. I say this because the definition of a Christian band varies from person to person. Some believe it to mean that the band must play "praise and worship" music (which if everything we do is in God's creation then yes we technically play praise and worship though not in the style most Christians recognizes as praise and worship by having lyrics directly talking to God.) Others believe a Christian band plays entirely for a Christian audience. If that is the definition of a Christian band then I would say no, we are not a Christian band. I say this because many Christians have positive influences in their life and they don't necessarily need to hear our music to get closer to God even though it wouldn't be an entirely bad thing. Those who are not Christians though can look at us a true representation of the faith. Our primary audience isn't a Christian one even though one or two songs may be directed to Christians specifically. Some may say a Christian band is a band who's members are all Christians. Again, if that is the case then no we are not a Christian band. Some of us call ourselves Christians, others try to lean away from the negative things related to the term "Christian" and others are not Christians at all. But the one thing that does unite us all is our faith because no matter our differences we all believe in the same God who created the universe and we recognize that throughout our failures God has stuck with us with everlasting grace and forgiveness and that by sending his son he made a deeper connection with us and allowed for a sacrifice to be taken, his only son, so that we may live on another level for and with God. The names of our labels and religions cannot drive us apart as long as we have God with us together. Aaron Gillespie has a song on The Almost album called "Amazing Because It Is". It is pretty much the chorus to "Amazing Grace" with a few verses he had written. But the title of the song really hit home with me as a description of God's infinite grace as it applies to everyone. I can't remember if there was anything more I had to say but be sure that if I remember I'll be posting it here. Thanks for getting this far, I didn't mean for me to write so much but its just what has been on my mind the past few weeks.
-Justin D. Covey

I'm Posting This One Backwards (part 1)

The following is not something I spent time studying (as you may understand due to how scattered my thoughts tend to be). It is merely a product of spontaneous inspiration. It is not to correct or challenge anyone's beliefs or standards, but just a rambling of my current thought. I merely ask you to read with an open mind and remember my intentions as earlier stated.
The source of this inspiration is from two things. The first being an event that has happened that I about to confront and the other is the book Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell. All quotes in this blog come directly from a section of the book I just read except those from the Bible which are labeled as such.
Sometimes its hard to understand why I do what I do. And often it is harder to explain. So I do my best to accept any criticism and consequences that may spawn from my decisions (which will be addressed in a later blog of the same title). Rob Bell says it so well in his book Velvet Elvis, "Christian is a great noun and a poor adjective." I AM a Christian in my beliefs about the past, present, and future of everything. I understand that God (for some wild reason) created the universe and the human race (His own creation) screwed up so royally and he still held forgiveness in His proverbial God-like heart and offered a sacrifice for our salvation, his only son. So I live my life to please the Big Guy because He's the only way reason I seem to be still alive today. I do everything with the knowledge of God in me . . . But I'm getting distracted here. Back to the point.
"When you meet a plumber, do you ask her if she is a Christian plumber? . . . My understanding is that to be Christian is to do whatever it is that you do with great passion and devotion. We throw ourselves into our work because everything is sacred."
"Whatever you do whether spoken or in action, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father." Colossians 3:17
"This is why it is impossible for a Christian to have a secular job. If you follow Jesus and you are doing what you do in his name, then it is no longer secular work; it's sacred. You are there; God is there. The difference is our awareness."
In my head I directly relate this to music because right now I am so sick and tired of people questioning the intent of bands and the label "Christan band" and what defines it. Over the years I've had my views and opinions on the subject and to this day I stick to most of them but right now I just don't care anymore. "Christian is a great noun and a poor adjective" just rang true these last few minutes.
I'm sorry if what I wrote seemed scattered and confusing. It all makes sense in my head. So if you have any questions or concerns, for once, I'd be glad to talk about them. Just ask me next time you see me.
-Justin D. Covey

Is This The End Or Am I Just Crazy?

Here's something I wrote on a somber Sunday morning sitting in a church pew listening to people talk in reverence of a great man who recently had passed.

A note of welcome to Mr. McGregor's Garden

Well here goes. I decided to set this site up a while back but never really had the chance to do so. I was looking for a place to do some serious blogging. (Serious as in hardcore, to the point, sometimes but not always lengthy self-discussions.) I'm always writing things but never doing anything with them, I've tried posting them on my personal MySpace page but no matter how much anyone uses the blog on there it will always be a community based website for teens and pre-teens to compliment each other's pictures on overly decorated websites and lol and omg all the day long in long, monotonous comment boxes. And that is where I'm at right now. Just a short introduction away from relaying my thoughts and opinions to the vast internet audience which only 99.97% of will ever even see this page. Who am I kidding, I don't have that many friends on-line, make it 99.999%.