Now What?, part 1

I don't know who this is for, mainly myself I guess. The audience I have in mind are mostly those of you who don't know me too well but do know me well enough to hold a conversation with me. People I may see from week to week but don't really know me. This is just answers to questions I don't here ... (okay, now I'm just rambling).
Now What?

I've never known what to write about. I don't even know my reason for writing. I've read so many amazing books and articles where authors tell the tales that make up their lives while imparting knowledge and wisdom along the way. Stories of rebellion and adventure, loneliness and hatred, beauty and joy. I never had stories like that, at least none that I considered worthy of sharing. My experiences are few but my conversation with God number in the many only I'm always saying the same things and asking the same questions. I am yours. Where do you want me? Now what? Tonight I find myself saying those same things but this time I'm taking notes and writing down what I think. I don't have the answers or claiming to know the truth. I only have myself, God, and these words I'm writing down. I don't even know where these words are going to take me. Adventure? Joy? Hope? Despair? I won't know until I get there and I won't arrive at the end until I find someplace to start. I guess now is as good as a time as any.
A few months back I stopped attending the church I've been at for years. I didn't leave for good, just a break to step back and examine my life as well as some of the things I saw going on that I didn't like. It was nothing inner church based (though there are some things I disagree with) just some characters I didn't really see eye to eye with and I wanted to remove myself from that sort of atmosphere before it started influencing me and the decisions I make. I'm not the type of person who leaves someplace because they don't like whats going on. I've always told people that running away from problems only solves them temporarily for yourself. To solve problems you need to get involved and invoke change yourself. I don't recall all the reasons I left, my motives were hardly what I would call noble and selfless. Little did I know that that there were reasons beyond my knowledge that I had cast myself out on my own. I didn't know it at the time but getting away from the church scene would help me get closer to God.